Home → University Services → Chaplaincy → Issues

Issues facing Students

Loneliness

You are in class with 20, 45, 75, 110, …… other people and you don't know anyone. Here are some ways to overcome those occasions of loneliness that strike in the first few weeks of semester:

Talk to someone in line with you at the bookshop, in the library, in the cafeteria, ……..
Invite someone from one of your classes to have lunch with you.
Join a club or society and meet people with similar interests.
Introduce yourself to others waiting to catch the bus or train.
Participate in O Week activities arranged by your Faculty, NUSA, the Union, ………

Missing Home

Feeling a bit blue now the excitement of moving house has worn off? Never thought you would feel that sense of emptiness, missing the give and take of your family and friends and the daily hassle of home. Could you be suffering a mild case of homesickness? You suffered from homesickness on occasion: sick of home, of the restrictions imposed by living at home, by Mum, Dad and/or your brothers and sisters.

Loneliness, a lack of close friends, the stress-filled world of university, a sense of insecurity caused by disorientation in new surroundings: a new country, a new city, ………. all contribute to the very normal feelings of homesickness.

Research indicates that almost 70% of students are homesick, at some point, in their first year after leaving home. For most this will be mild, lasting only a few days; others will suffer from a more severe case, lasting a few weeks; however, no one has died from homesickness.

Homesickness is:

being miserable without knowing why;
being unable to get into a reassuring routine;
wondering what people at home are doing and feeling that you are missing out;
wanting to go straight home after having just arrived;
not liking meals at the hall because the atmosphere doesn't feel right'
being unable to settle to anything;
feeling like crying for no reason;
getting anxious or upset about little things that never used to bother you;
an experience, a state of feeling that will pass, sooner or later.

There are several ways to survive homesickness. Here are some tried and true means:

Remember that homesickness is very natural. It is a normal stage in the process of separating from home and becoming an independent, self-directed adult. The pain will pass, usually sooner rather than later.
Don't compare yourself with others who appear to have it 'together'. Many probably feel like you and are hiding behind a smiling face.
Set up your room with something familiar from home.
Keep busy. Put your energy in meeting new people. Introduce yourself to a couple of new people each day.
Stay in touch with family and friends at home. Letters and phone calls can provide a lifeline until you settle into your new routine.
Respond positively to the invitations of others to places and events where you will meet more people.
Make new friendships. A friend helps shatter loneliness.

Making New Friends

University provides you with the opportunity of making new friends, from all over the world. Some of these new friends will remain friends throughout your life. You may even meet your future husband or wife while at uni.

Making new friends is not as daunting as it may seem. Everyone has the same opportunities, as they begin this next section of their life's journey. You are given the chance to start again, to change your image, especially if others' negative opinions have tarnished your self-image.

Here are some pointers on making friends:

Be patient. Don't latch onto the first people you meet. Be welcoming but discerning in making friendships. Don't do anything that makes you uncomfortable or is wrong, to keep a friend. Benjamin Franklin advised, "Be slow in choosing a friend, slower in changing."
Make yourself available. Expand beyond your school circle of friends. You are bound to find new friends if you try things like sitting in class with other students and not by yourself, smiling and saying hello, joining others at the cafeteria or bar, joining a club or society, and attending orientation events sponsored by various groups during 'O Week'.
Be yourself. Your honesty and sincerity will attract other authentic friends.
Smile. A smile conveys warmth, optimism and happiness.
Friendship equals commitment. Realise that developing and maintaining a friendship requires time, energy, and love. Friendship requires both giving and receiving. Put aside the time to nurture your friendships.

Dealing with Differences

One thing you will notice when you arrive at Uni is the great and wonderful diversity among students. You could have classmates from around the world, coming from different cultures, religious and socio-economic backgrounds. Together we will make up a rainbow of races, tracing our national identities to different countries and holding a host of political views.

These students will have a myriad of interests and a smorgasbord of talents. Distinctive clothing, hair styles and body art will catch your glance. Some students will flaunt their distinctiveness to underscore their desire to be individual.

How to react to all this?

Remain calm!

All people, regardless of race, colour, creed and sexual orientation are members of one human family. Meeting and interacting with peoples from various backgrounds is normal, human behaviour and challenges us to be open and willing to experience new ways of perceiving reality. Some will become your friends, if you are open to listen to them and not judge by appearances.

Remember, prejudice is a learned behaviour. This is an opportunity to discover some of your prejudices and unlearn them through open-minded exposure to a kaleidoscope of people of different races, colours and creeds.

Getting Involved!

During Orientation week, a myriad of activities will vie for your attention. Should you join a club or society? Participate in various activities? How many groups will you join? While on campus, you will be asked to join many groups and organisations. The great majority of these groups are well meaning and constructive, whether they be sporting, political, religious, self-improvement or social in nature. The following questions may help you make a free and informed choice about group membership:

What commitments of time, money, and other resources are expected from me?
Will I be discouraged from associating with family and/or friends?
What will I gain from membership of this group? How does it fit in with my own goals and ideas?

Does the Group…..

encourage you to continue your studies, to succeed academically, and to graduate, or does the group say that its activities are more important than your studies?
answer the questions that you ask, or are you told repeatedly that the answers will come later?
discourage discussion of its beliefs, either with other members or with your family or friends?
want its members to give up traditions and beliefs?
require absolute obedience and devotion to its leaders?
allow members to have quiet times alone, or time with friends outside the group?